march '09
One thing I've noticed on my FeedJit thingamajig down there (which I personally think has little purpose but it's fun to know which country my visitors come from) is that my blog posts in March last year are almost always among the highest hits. So out of curiosity, I checked them out to see what's the fuss about. I do clearly remember significant events that happened that time but they were not good ones so that couldn't possibly be it..
I read each one and found the answer. There were two posts which I posted a lot of celebrity pictures; hence my blog would probably come out in their Google search of that certain celebrity. But other than finding my answer, I found something else that's interesting. There's a post where I mentioned Amer and we weren't together at the time. Okay I know this doesn't matter much, but I find it funny! Fate does work in strange ways. Here's an excerpt: (okay actually the whole post)
"Alhamdulillah, today's Bel meeting went well. Really well, as Mdm Marina said we were all good. "Improved a lot from the first meeting. I've nothing else to comment," she said, with a smile on her face. Yeay for us eight!
Thank you guys; Aint no Ruqqie yaw, Nasty Nadia, Aina Banana, Mary Celery, Yana Boleh, Far Inspirasi, and Mr. Nabil, for all the help, your sacrifices and the constructive criticisms and comments. It was nerve-wrecking but we've made it!
Yes yes I know, you're probably thinking, Ala meeting Bel je pun, but it really meant something to me.
Oh and Gamelan test went well too! I was practically the last one! hahaha but it helped because I wasn't so nervous. Though Amir and the boys just had to stay and watch. takpe takpe. hehe
Today made me a whole lot better since Monday. But honestly, these two happy events couldn't quite redeem the bad grade I got for my Literature paper. Oh Mr. Kieran, why why whyyyyyy?
hmph. :("
Thank you guys; Aint no Ruqqie yaw, Nasty Nadia, Aina Banana, Mary Celery, Yana Boleh, Far Inspirasi, and Mr. Nabil, for all the help, your sacrifices and the constructive criticisms and comments. It was nerve-wrecking but we've made it!
Yes yes I know, you're probably thinking, Ala meeting Bel je pun, but it really meant something to me.
Oh and Gamelan test went well too! I was practically the last one! hahaha but it helped because I wasn't so nervous. Though Amir and the boys just had to stay and watch. takpe takpe. hehe
Today made me a whole lot better since Monday. But honestly, these two happy events couldn't quite redeem the bad grade I got for my Literature paper. Oh Mr. Kieran, why why whyyyyyy?
hmph. :("
Hahahaha see? I even wrote his name with an "i", not "e" like I do now. Yeah, detik-detik permulaan bermula dengan kelas gamelan. And I initially didn't even think of joining! I was so sure to join Taekwondo, but changed my mind at the last minute. Tengok-tengok, dia pun join juga. And the rest is history :p
However, re-reading my March '09 posts doesn't exactly bring back fond memories. I clearly remember what happened during this month and to be honest, I live everyday trying to forget it. But I don't think about it so much anymore, because I am happy now and I think I will be for some time. I have some tips to share with you, and I haven't shared any in a looong time. Specially inspired by this post.
- If you are with a person who makes you feel bad about yourself (regardless a friend or a boyfriend/ girlfriend), who makes you do things you don't want to, please please please do not think think twice of walking away. He/ she is not worth your time.
- If you find it hard to do so, and start to blame yourself for the things you are not at fault, STOP THINKING AND JUST LEAVE. That person is slowly succeeding in emotionally abusing you.
- If you're hurt, think of it as a good hurt. Like ripping off a band-aid (Eustace from Narnia told us this).
- If he or she starts to beg and make promises, but hardly ever keep it, do not give them the benefit of the doubt because THEIR PROMISES ARE JUST LIES. They do it once, twice, thrice, and I am positive they will do it again. And if you're weak, you'll just stay and take the heat.
- If you find something/ someone who your heart says is sincere, is kind, don't be scared to take that leap of faith. How do you know this? You'll just know.
- If you have doubts in someone from the get-go, do not proceed. Slowly take a step back and walk the other way. You won't lose anything.
- Emotional, verbal, physical and sexual abuses should not be experienced by anyone, especially not intelligent, vivacious girls who become weak and stupid because of ill-treatment by irresponsible people. It happened to me, and I can't let this happen to anyone, especially my family and friends.
Looking back at my old posts makes me feel like I've really changed. I don't write much on personal emotions anymore. I've tried to be distant in my posts as I possibly can and I think I've done it. But honestly, I don't feel like this blog is truly "me" of late. I'll try to make it "me" as possible, so that I don't feel like reading a stranger's blog. But it sure does evoke something in myself, retracing my steps here in Runningwithscissors tonight, because I think I've just shared with you the worst period of my life. And that my readers, has pretty much left me feeling naked. And so out there. And I am a very shy person. So...goodnight. Salam!
Labels: life, love, thoughts, tip of the day |
4 tissues:
nashrah, if you care to explain, what does running with scissors symbolize?
I've actually written a short post on this! :)
http://blablablech.blogspot.com/2010/04/new-page.html
I like this post. No, I LOVE this post.
It's absurd to think anyone could do such things to a nice person like you. But hey, what doesnt kills you only will make you stronger, huh? You're actually so much stronger than you think. Hope you know that. :)
Azie, thank you! you make me believe in myself more now :')
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