Some temptations are called forbidden for a reason. They bring grave consequences. Really, really grave. Yes, the feeling of giving yourself to it feels euphoric, to the point of ecstasy even, but it will only last for so long. The aftermath is something that you might not be able to get over once you tempt it. So just gather all the strength you have and stay away.
I won't let myself be another Eve. I won't I won't.
"I love my job as a student, I love my job as a student, I love my job as a student."
I believe this should be our mantra for the semester, to keep us going. It's already Part 6 guys, 1 year left till graduation insyaAllah. Now or never.
Dearies, I haven't updated for awhile (only about 5 days) and already, I miss blogging. I do have the time, but I just don't know what to write. Anyhoo, my friend said that she viewed my blog this morning and detected a virus! Hollygolightly! (that was my expression by the way). I was in shock. And I'm not sure how a virus found its way and lurked through my precious blog here, but honestly, that is the least of my concern. Does my blog effect you my lovely readers? Because if it does, please do tell me. I have no idea what kind of virus it is and how it got here, but I'll try and delete it somehow. I've been clean (not visiting any sites that have malware or spyware and the like, at least I think so) so this struck me as something odd. Not too mention, annoying. So please leave me a comment if you've been affected alright? Okay toodles for now!
How does one balance every single aspect of his or her life perfectly? I find it hard to do so. I tend to find myself doing the right thing for only a short period of time, before falling over and mess everything up again. My attention span does not seem to last very long on the 'right thing', and it's hard to keep track. But really, how do they do it? How do you do it? Let me give you some examples.
Between being modest and too proud. When you are being modest about some achievement you've gotten, people will say 'eleh, sebenarnya dia suka tu', and envy will slowly reveal itself and you will end up being disliked.
But when you are too proud, people will still not like you but no envy there. Just plain hate, or disgust.
Dirty things. Or to put it in a more decent manner, the facts of life.
When you don't want or like to talk about it or have no clue whatsoever, people will say you're a prude. But if you know everything, and I do mean every thing, they think you're a pervert.
Between being quiet in class and paying attention and being seen as a boring, dull person by others. When you're in class and listening to a lecture, you have to be quiet and pay attention right? So you can listen and take down notes for you to read later to pass tests and exams and such. But sometimes, teachers and friends would think you're a loner, or a goody two shoes, or a 'tin kosong'. Then you'll end up in the 'hidden' list of kids to watch out for.
Think about it, and do share me your tips. Working to strike the perfect balance in things is hard work when you don't know whether you're doing it right. :s
I have a fear of the word 'vampire' when translated in Malay. yup, ep hep haip, don't say it! Yes, I'm that afraid. This post has nothing to do with Maya Karin or Edward, but a band who already has their second album out and I was wondering whether there is anyone who's lovely enough to purchase or download the songs for me hehehe.
They make me bob my head, they add a little skip to my everyday walk (and I'm usually languid), they make me smile. When there's a band that is melodically capable to make me act in such a way, you know they're something special. And they have distinct accents, which I absolutely love though I'm not sure which one is it, Irish or Scottish or British. Hence, if you love me, you know what to do. ;)
"That I would be good even if I did nothing That I would be good even if I got the thumbs down That I would be good if I got and stayed sick That I would be good even if I gained ten pounds
That I would be fine even if I went bankrupt That I would be good if I lost my hair and my youth That I would be great if I was no longer queen That I would be grand if I was not all knowing
That I would be loved even when I numb myself That I would be good even when I'm overwhelmed That I would be loved even when I was fuming That I would be good even if I was clingy
That I would be good even if I lost sanity That I would be good whether with or without you"
just sleep it off. No point of crying until you have panda eyes, no point of arguing or else, you'll end up saying things you don't mean and make matters worse. No point of comfort eating either. You'll burst out crying the first in the morning when you realize there are lots of candy and chocolate wraps beside your pillow or under your bed. Take a deep breath, wash your face, say your prayers, grab your stuffed animal (if you have one, this is optional), get comfortable under your blanket until you're perfectly snuggled up, and sleep.
We all love to do it, so I'm about 75 to 80% sure the method will work. Goodnight, sleep tight, don't let the bed bugs bite.
After several long months of contemplating and arguing with myself, over what was right and wrong, over what had been done, the what-ifs and what might have been, almost losing my mind in the process because everything, every thing was too much to handle, with just a few sentences, you've strengthened and justified the arguments I've had with myself. I was at a loss, I felt mean and sinful, I felt sad, the saddest state I've ever been in, but infallibly, I was right all along. I was on the right track, but of course, bumps were everywhere. I was bound to trip and fall. No one had the power to pick me up but myself. Whether I was strong enough or not, it all depended on me.
After 4 p.m today, I'm now envisaging things in a whole new light. Thank you so so much, Mdm Adzura. I was blinded by so many things, the road was so foggy, I couldn't see a thing. Never thought I would receive my long-awaited answer in a literature class.
Track number 8 on Continuum unexpectedly repeated its haunting effect on me today. Why? Why why why. Today, out of all days. Well, the simple reason is because the cd had found its way into the cd player of the car. The perpetrator? Me, of course. Who can resist the sweet sounds of Mayer right? I need to listen to him from time to time. He soothes me. But what he sings, can be such a smack on the head.
Reminder for tomorrow: Change the cd and listen to some happy songs for own happiness' sake!
I think this sentence will automatically be tattooed inside my head every week. I survived the first five days of Semester 6, and am already bombarded with assignments. Next Monday will be my very first presentation of the semester and it's worth 20%! (eh is it 10%? Either way, it's still worth something :s) I'm so stressed that I could cut the tension with a knife. Every single assessment counts in order to obtain that Dean's List. May the force be with me.
I had never attended one, so it was an eye-opener on seeing what people actually do during the event. Fro was beautiful; my jaw literally dropped. And this wasn't even D-day.
The photographer asked us to do some really weird hand gestures; like waving your hands towards the camera and he would go snap-snap-snap-snap! First time I had been asked to do something like that. But it was funny and I didn't care. Because love was in the air and some of it got into my head and made me dizzy and happy.
The newlyweds, after the akad nikah. Alhamdulillah, Asrul did it on one go. Could they be any cuter?
Pictures from Fro's FB
I'm missing my friend already, but I know she's in good hands. I'm so happy I could cry. May you guys last forever and ever.
And forever meaning I get to see your children and grandchildren and greatgrandchildren and they would call me Aunty Nashrah and I get to bring them shopping and, you know the drill.
Happy for you always hun! Love love love hugs sloppy kisses from me,
Your forever day-dreamer and pure believer in love.
I hardly use any initials when I write. I find the longer versions of it are more appropriate somehow, being a lover of this language, plus I have to teach it someday, but this post is dedicated to my little sister, Nur Nashreen.
Oh if you don't get my point, she likes to use those kind of writing. (Imy, Lol, Ilysm, etc)
Last Saturday, she started her new school in Section 3, Shah Alam (so far right? I knooww). But the school wasn't the ordinary type, it was a school for future Tahfizs. You're probably thinking this isn't a big deal, but to me, it kinda is. You see, out of all my four siblings, none of us had actually entered a school other than the normal everyday one. And this school was something special. Other than training you to recite the Quran properly and memorize every juzu', they control your eating habits, your sleeping habits, your five senses; what you see and touch and listen to, everything, in other words, your life. It means, no more 'bahan bacaan yang melalaikan, muzik yang melalaikan, makanan yang melembabkan spt maggi' and so on and so forth. My sister loves Korean boybands, practically sings them everyday, watch Korean tv shows, cartoons, silly movies, eat chocolates and junk food and would cook maggi whenever she's hungry, any activity that a normal 12 year-old would do. But now, she has to gradually stop all that for the sake of learning. If I were in Sheen's place, I wouldn't know if I was ready for something like that. I still have too many temptations that I fight everyday.
Because of this, my sister had to grow up faster than any other kid her age. Entering the school was a bittersweet moment for all of us. We miss her but we were all aware that this was the right thing to do, it's glorious even, because the purpose was not only to achieve success now in this world, but also in the hereafter. It is almost guaranteed. But it was a sacrifice nonetheless. Eventhough it's tough, my mother made a good decision. It was a good call.
And like any other sister, I worry. I've been worrying since the moment we left her there, all teary-eyed. Because I'm afraid she can't cope, or she's not strong enough and I'm sad that she can't be herself. So I just pray and pray that God can give her the strength and kecekalan hati and hope that she will make friends and be genuinely happy. We're going to see her this weekend and I just can't wait. I love you and miss you sis. :(
A while back, I wrote a post on a list of things to do; mostly dates with loved ones.
Health date with Banana and Celery. haha it sounds funny. Taman Tasik next week ok girls. Remember, we need to shed the extra pounds before new sem starts!
Oh yes, that reminds me. Our course registration date tomorrow morning. Kena cepat chup class time yang best!
Manicure date with Ain Comel. My birthday present to you :) Can't wait to beautify these lackluster nails!
Reunion/ planning for the big impending day date with the girls. This is mucho importanntttt!
Bachelorette party/ date.
And of course, movie/ makan/ any activity date with my dearest :)
Here's the aftermath. Lucky me, I got to do them all!
Health date? What health date? Because it always rains here in Shah Alam every other afternoon, we scratched the idea of jogging/ briskwalking and had drinks (and nasi lemak) instead. I really really wanted to lose some weight (okay logically, one health date does not make you thinner. Hundreds might.) but I haven't seen those two ever since I got back from my trip so I didn't care. And almost all the burden on my shoulders were lifted, because I had the chance to spew them all to them. Thanks you guys :)
I have no idea why, but this semester, UiTM's server system really sucked. We all waited and waited and only until yesterday, all the timetables for each course were slowly making its way into the system. I hope there won't be any change. It gives me headaches and makes me hyperventilate for some bizarre reason.
After numerous times of calling the spa and them being so busy, all booked up throughout the week, I finally got the chance to give Ain's birthday present which was a manicure treatment. Though these nails are losing their shine already, I'm glad we had the date :)
I loved this date. I got to see all the preparations. I ooh-ed and aah-ed at everything. Mostly because, I just couldn't believe it was really happening! Alhamdulillah, everything went well :) I'm happy for you hun!
Okay so we had our bachelorette date, but compared to other people or the 'traditional' ones, ours was pretty tame hahaha. My friend googled it to get a rough idea on how it's supposed to be like, and male strippers and sexy outfits were the results. Though handsome guys are somewhat tempting, we stick to normal girls' day out date. But I loved it because in the end, I was filled (and stuffed) with looovvveee.
We had one, and it was great :) Like any other dates we've been on. Looking forward for more :) alright, I'm stopping right here. No description necessary. (Malu sebenarnya.)
My December was really filled to the fullest. I wish to do everything, really everything all over again. But minus the part where my family went on a Bahrain/ Syria/ Jordan/ Palestin/ Israel trip and made me worried sick to my stomach and had me all bored in the house with nothing to do. And also made me jealous after viewing all the lovely pictures my family uploaded, though the trip was a little scary for them and required a huge amount of patience because the Israelis were a pain in the butt.
Now, it's the new year. 2010. I can hardly believe it's been a decade after the millenium. Time really flies fast and truthfully, I'm a little scared of the things and events to come. Will there be more destruction, or will people in general can finally see eye to eye on things and peace will shine through? That's the matter of the world. On a smaller note, I'm also a bit worried about my journey in life. I will turn 22 this year and there's still so much I haven't accomplished. Looking back to 2009, there were definitely ups and downs, but how lovely were the 'ups' and how saddening were the 'downs'. But one thing's for sure, it shaped me. Molded myself into something I am now. I'm not sure if I'm a better person, but those events I went through had their impacts. Whether good or bad, I am glad I had the experiences.
I don't normally make resolutions, because I know I won't stick to them for long. Maybe for 2010, I want to start 'sticking' to things for a longer period of time. And from there, I work things out to produce something positive. Yup, that's my resolution. I'll think of more later hehe.
2009 was somewhat a great year, but now I have the chance to start over. 2010, here I come :)
Oh, Happy New Year you guys! I hope you had a blast embracing it. To my UiTM friends, see you this Monday! Though it is a drag, (I wish Sunday could be stretched to 48 hours or suddenly there's a sudden announcement in Student Portal saying the new semester will start the other week) I have missed seeing familiar, lovely faces at the faculty! You are, whether you like it or not, a part of my life, and I can't wait to have that part back. See youu sooon!
