you're forgiven

I miss blogging. I miss writing whatever comes to my head, without caring or thinking what other people might say. Lately, I just put pictures or quotes that I like, just little pieces of my thoughts, not giving them all. I want to write long posts like I used to and almost every day without fail. Tak sah la kalau tak blog in a day! But now my head's full of other things; things that I want to share with the whole wide world, things that can make me burst literally out of happiness, but I chose not to.

Wearing my heart on my sleeve is what I usually do. It's really a part of me. I don't know how to be discreet, the right ways of being subtle, I've never read that handbook before. Ways On How To Write Discreetly. Yup, never have. So I go on doing what I do best; putting them all out there.

But in a way, what I'm doing, for me, is wrong. Maybe others do not think so, but me? I think it is. For example, when someone says bad things about you behind your back, for sure it will send you in a verbal frenzy, you know, doing the same thing. You would talk about them too, not just how upset you are, but also the bad sides of them. I did that. But never have I thought that Ya Allah, aku ni mengumpat jugak lah. In a way, I'm like them too. 2x5, 5x2.

So I gathered all my patience and to tell you the truth, it truly wasn't easy, but I managed to stop. And then I think reverse psychology thoughts. Hmm, maybe what they actually said was... Or maybe they meant something else, I je tak faham... Oh we don't know each other very well, so biasa lah kalau nak cakap-cakap ni... Hmm maybe diorg tak dengki, diorg jealous je kot. ala jealous yang main-main tapi bunyi cam serious...

Oh you don't know how many theories and excuses I came up for this. It does make me feel better in a way but at the end of the day, when I come to think about it, I'd be sad all over again. But I also kept this saying in my head. Ignorance is bliss. Yes, it can come off as a cliche, but if you really practice it, it can be really comforting. At least for me it does.

I think in general, if you have bad things happening to you, you just gotta count your blessings. Every precious thing that you have, be thankful. Because each one of them loves you, cares for you and are there for you. The haters are like tiny weeny midgets compared to the love giants you have. Think about this, and you'll be alright. :)


p.s: oh and yeah, I've forgiven you for what you did and said. I really don't care anymore. I am happy and that is all.



4 tissues:

hajar :: aisyah said...

oh nashrah..
oh my my~

from now on, i'll count by blessings too

Moja Amin said...

I like your "Amateur musicologist' tu. Awesomeee!

Nashrah Khan said...

teddy, yes nash tgh bersihkan hati ni sebersih bersih nye huu. xmo buat slh lg. :)

hajar, hehe yup2 we all shld. then only we can appreciate the things around us :D

moja, oh thankss! i found it kat weheartit hehe :)