running with scissors: so I wait for fate to find me

so I wait for fate to find me

12:21 AM achoo-ed by Nashrah Khan

As I sent Aina and drove off, fear started creeping in. Handphone out of battery, could not call anyone, driving along the dark street of section 3, then section 6 then speeding through to reach the roundabout fast enough to see the lights of Masjid Negeri to get rid of the fear. The traffic light turned green but when I was about to reach it, it turned red. Maybe because there weren't any cars around. Apa lagi, langgar la lampu merah. Takde maknanya nak duduk kat situ sorang-sorang dlm kereta. scaryyy. Drove and drove and I thought about all the things that happened today. and yesterday. and the day before yesterday. And at that moment, I realized that I have never felt so alone in my life. It's a sad thing. To know that you can't pick up the phone and dial the familiar number. To know that if you can take it all back, you would but you can't. To separate and put on a brave face and try to convince yourself that you will be ok.

Exactly, how do you do that?

Thinking about tomorrow and the day after that made me anxious as well. Japanese video and Japanese test and Bel minutes and Literature presentation and just another million more things to do. Seriously rasa mcm nak nangis. Please let me survive this week. please please please.