scared, terrified, afraid.
You know what? I'm feeling pretty numb right now. floating aimlessly in a cloud of numbness. It's been days. I thought I could run away from writing on how I feel but me being me, I can't. But if you noticed, I actually didn't write anything. I posted a quote, a picture, and paraphrased lyrics. So I kinda kept my word hehe. People can read what I write. They know what's going on in my life, directly or indirectly. So it can be a little scary. Some bloggers choose to write about general stuff; like events or happenings around the world, politics, fashion. Some treat it like a diary; writing every bit of detail on what is going on in their lives. Me? I'm somewhere in between.
What was I saying about being numb? Oh yes. Yell at me, and I won't blink. Talk bad about me, and I won't get mad. Live amazing lives and I won't get jealous. Sometimes you have to wave your hand a few times in front of me then I'll notice. I'm feeling pretty mellow. Or maybe I'm just lost in translation.
Been constantly playing "Slow Dancing in a Burning Room" in the car to and from classes. Well, that's the only place I go where I drive myself. Having your own alone time is good. Have the chance to think about things, reflect and think again. Too much alone time is bad though. Too depressing I might say. You need people, whether you like it or not. A companion. To get you talking and laughing, to eat together, to care, to love. Yeah it's nice. But driving alone listening to that song? Beyond devastation. People who listen to John Mayer and understand the lyrics know how I feel. Except the part where the room is already burnt down to the ground.
Well, I got my heart broken not too long ago. Just once. It was bruised for a long time so after a lot of heavy hits, it broke. I'm not going to let it happen twice. Nope, not this time. I'm being cautious now. It's too dangerous to put yourself, your heart out there being taken care of by a person you might not really know. It's funny cause I always thought that falling in love is beautiful. It's like you have a piece of heaven with you. Now, it's the most scariest thing for a person to do. There's a big chance you can get hurt and the cure is only time and your own motivation to overcome it. Probably a pint of Jamoca Almond Fudge and boxes of chocolate might do the trick but you'll be crying later when seeing your weight on the scale. So yeah, you're the only one who can make yourself happy again.
I had a 'deep-and-light' conversation with my sister the other day over guys. 'Deep' as in the heavy subject matter, 'light' as in the way we talked. Malu nak nangis kat kakak so cakap pun cam biasa-biasa je.hehe. Well, it turns out we chose the wrong ones. Guys that is. Apalah nasib kita kan Kak No? It's alright, Allah nak bagi kita ujian. That means He loves us to the point that He wants to test our iman and strength to cope and overcome this. In a way, we must not be lembik. Love ourselves first than others. Listen to what we want, not them. They don't determine who we are, we do. Men, you can live with them and you can live without them.
To tell you the truth,... I don't think I can trust guys easily ever ever again.
Been constantly playing "Slow Dancing in a Burning Room" in the car to and from classes. Well, that's the only place I go where I drive myself. Having your own alone time is good. Have the chance to think about things, reflect and think again. Too much alone time is bad though. Too depressing I might say. You need people, whether you like it or not. A companion. To get you talking and laughing, to eat together, to care, to love. Yeah it's nice. But driving alone listening to that song? Beyond devastation. People who listen to John Mayer and understand the lyrics know how I feel. Except the part where the room is already burnt down to the ground.
Well, I got my heart broken not too long ago. Just once. It was bruised for a long time so after a lot of heavy hits, it broke. I'm not going to let it happen twice. Nope, not this time. I'm being cautious now. It's too dangerous to put yourself, your heart out there being taken care of by a person you might not really know. It's funny cause I always thought that falling in love is beautiful. It's like you have a piece of heaven with you. Now, it's the most scariest thing for a person to do. There's a big chance you can get hurt and the cure is only time and your own motivation to overcome it. Probably a pint of Jamoca Almond Fudge and boxes of chocolate might do the trick but you'll be crying later when seeing your weight on the scale. So yeah, you're the only one who can make yourself happy again.
I had a 'deep-and-light' conversation with my sister the other day over guys. 'Deep' as in the heavy subject matter, 'light' as in the way we talked. Malu nak nangis kat kakak so cakap pun cam biasa-biasa je.hehe. Well, it turns out we chose the wrong ones. Guys that is. Apalah nasib kita kan Kak No? It's alright, Allah nak bagi kita ujian. That means He loves us to the point that He wants to test our iman and strength to cope and overcome this. In a way, we must not be lembik. Love ourselves first than others. Listen to what we want, not them. They don't determine who we are, we do. Men, you can live with them and you can live without them.
To tell you the truth,... I don't think I can trust guys easily ever ever again.
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3 tissues:
everything happens for a reason kan?
im sure you'll meet your mr right soon.
and you wouldnt even have to try.
because you very well deserve him.
:)
gulp.
the John Mayer part I can totally relate to. When you feel mellow, sad and shitty I would listen to them songs. It gives me some sorta tranquility and confidence. Say and belief; my marijuana!
Don't trust anybody.
But yourself, God and family.
people always tend to miss the fact that the thing that they have been looking for all those time is always the closest to them.
tak nak give it a shot?
hahaha....
I joke! i joke! I kid! i kid!
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