hari yang penuh kesentapan
I don't normally use the word 'sentap'; only Herne uses it often, but today that was how I felt.
"Sentap eh?" - Gaya Herne
Because of the events that happened the previous day, I was still feeling pretty sad and very touchy. Woke up late and rushed to commercial music class, with eyebags and all. I didn't even had time to switch the channel of the radio which I usually spend 2-3 minutes on choosing a station or a cd to listen to just to get in the mood when going to class. If previously used by my mother, the radio will belt out nasyid songs and the shows handled by very soft spoken djs. IKIM.fm of course. I didn't mind listening to it sometimes; keeps me on track and works like a reminder. Then an old song by Raihan came out and I think the title was "Syukur". I listened to the lyrics and cried. Yes, tgh rushing cam gila, eyes all puffy, boleh nangis lagi untuk membengkakkan mata yang dah bengkak. Rindu sangat lyrics yang cantik, yang remind us to be grateful, and to remember Him. Lalai sungguh diri ni. Nangis lagi.
When I went back home, I ate while watching tv. On fridays selalu tengok Al-Hidayah. I like the host, she's so pretty and looks like an example of a good Muslimah. Anyway, I watched it for only a few minutes then it ended. You know how usually after a show ends, the theme song or the ending song will come out? The song that was played in the end was "Pergi Tak Kembali" by Rabbani. With a handful of rice ready to be put into my mouth, I stopped midway and cried. Again. Imagine crying while eating. I tried hard to stop sebab kesian kat makanan. That song can be considered to be the top in my "Lagu-lagu yang paling sentap" list.
Ustad Abdul Razak always played it in the bus during our ziarahs and it never failed to make me cry or remember my grandmother. Bila teringat Ustad, teringat umrah. Teringat Madinah Al-Munawwarah and Makkah Al-Mukorramah. Teringat Baitullah. Ya Allah, sedih sangat. Rindu sangat. This feeling of missing was like no other. Not like missing your family, your friends, your boyfriend/girlfriend, even your deceased grandmother. It was much stronger and of course, Allah saja yang tahu how I felt.
I guess there are a lot of reasons why I felt today is hari yang penuh kesentapan. I can't really describe it but it's like you're carrying a really heavy burden on your shoulders. I miss Makkah, I miss praying in front of Baitullah, I miss my grandmother who had passed away a hundred days today, I miss the feeling of peacefulness that I felt when I was there. I hate it here. I'm weak, I forget, I break promises. I feel empty and lost somehow during these past couple of weeks. Jadi lalai, alpa. Kenapa? :(
Ya Allah, I love You. Thank You for reminding me of my selfish, forgetful ways. I'll be the best that I can be, for everyone and especially for You. Please guide me throughout everything, for You are the only one who has the power to do so.
oh I'd like to put up the lyrics of Pergi Tak Kembali. You know me. Tak sah kalau takde lyrics hehe. Can also be a reminder for you guys too, to always remember death and whatever we do, we go back to Him in the end. And because I love you guys too much to not let you forget. :)
Setiap insan pasti merasa
Saat perpisahan terakhir
Dunia yang fana akan ditinggalkan
Hanya amalan yang dibawa
Terdengar sayup surah dibaca
Sayunya alunan suara
Cemas di dada...lemah tak bermaya
Terbuka hijab di depan mata
Selamat tinggal pada semua
Berpisahlah kita selamanya
Kita tak sama nasib di sana
Baikkah atau sebaliknya
Amalan dan takwa jadi bekalan
Sejahtera bahagia pulang...ke sana
Sekujur badan berselimut putih
Rebah bersemadi sendiri
Mengharap kasih anak dan isteri
Apa mungkin pahala dikirim
Terbaring sempit seluas pusara
Soal-bicara terus bermula
Sesal dan insaf tak berguna lagi
Hancurlah jasad dimamah bumi
Berpisah sudah segalanya
Yang tinggal hanyalah kenangan
Diiring doa dan air mata
Yang pergi takkan kembali lagi
Al-Fatihah buat Allahyarhamah Aishah bt Abu Hasan dan arwah-arwah yang telah pergi.
Semoga mereka dicucuri rahmatMu.
"Sentap eh?" - Gaya Herne
Because of the events that happened the previous day, I was still feeling pretty sad and very touchy. Woke up late and rushed to commercial music class, with eyebags and all. I didn't even had time to switch the channel of the radio which I usually spend 2-3 minutes on choosing a station or a cd to listen to just to get in the mood when going to class. If previously used by my mother, the radio will belt out nasyid songs and the shows handled by very soft spoken djs. IKIM.fm of course. I didn't mind listening to it sometimes; keeps me on track and works like a reminder. Then an old song by Raihan came out and I think the title was "Syukur". I listened to the lyrics and cried. Yes, tgh rushing cam gila, eyes all puffy, boleh nangis lagi untuk membengkakkan mata yang dah bengkak. Rindu sangat lyrics yang cantik, yang remind us to be grateful, and to remember Him. Lalai sungguh diri ni. Nangis lagi.
When I went back home, I ate while watching tv. On fridays selalu tengok Al-Hidayah. I like the host, she's so pretty and looks like an example of a good Muslimah. Anyway, I watched it for only a few minutes then it ended. You know how usually after a show ends, the theme song or the ending song will come out? The song that was played in the end was "Pergi Tak Kembali" by Rabbani. With a handful of rice ready to be put into my mouth, I stopped midway and cried. Again. Imagine crying while eating. I tried hard to stop sebab kesian kat makanan. That song can be considered to be the top in my "Lagu-lagu yang paling sentap" list.
Ustad Abdul Razak always played it in the bus during our ziarahs and it never failed to make me cry or remember my grandmother. Bila teringat Ustad, teringat umrah. Teringat Madinah Al-Munawwarah and Makkah Al-Mukorramah. Teringat Baitullah. Ya Allah, sedih sangat. Rindu sangat. This feeling of missing was like no other. Not like missing your family, your friends, your boyfriend/girlfriend, even your deceased grandmother. It was much stronger and of course, Allah saja yang tahu how I felt.
I guess there are a lot of reasons why I felt today is hari yang penuh kesentapan. I can't really describe it but it's like you're carrying a really heavy burden on your shoulders. I miss Makkah, I miss praying in front of Baitullah, I miss my grandmother who had passed away a hundred days today, I miss the feeling of peacefulness that I felt when I was there. I hate it here. I'm weak, I forget, I break promises. I feel empty and lost somehow during these past couple of weeks. Jadi lalai, alpa. Kenapa? :(
Ya Allah, I love You. Thank You for reminding me of my selfish, forgetful ways. I'll be the best that I can be, for everyone and especially for You. Please guide me throughout everything, for You are the only one who has the power to do so.
oh I'd like to put up the lyrics of Pergi Tak Kembali. You know me. Tak sah kalau takde lyrics hehe. Can also be a reminder for you guys too, to always remember death and whatever we do, we go back to Him in the end. And because I love you guys too much to not let you forget. :)
Setiap insan pasti merasa
Saat perpisahan terakhir
Dunia yang fana akan ditinggalkan
Hanya amalan yang dibawa
Terdengar sayup surah dibaca
Sayunya alunan suara
Cemas di dada...lemah tak bermaya
Terbuka hijab di depan mata
Selamat tinggal pada semua
Berpisahlah kita selamanya
Kita tak sama nasib di sana
Baikkah atau sebaliknya
Amalan dan takwa jadi bekalan
Sejahtera bahagia pulang...ke sana
Sekujur badan berselimut putih
Rebah bersemadi sendiri
Mengharap kasih anak dan isteri
Apa mungkin pahala dikirim
Terbaring sempit seluas pusara
Soal-bicara terus bermula
Sesal dan insaf tak berguna lagi
Hancurlah jasad dimamah bumi
Berpisah sudah segalanya
Yang tinggal hanyalah kenangan
Diiring doa dan air mata
Yang pergi takkan kembali lagi
Al-Fatihah buat Allahyarhamah Aishah bt Abu Hasan dan arwah-arwah yang telah pergi.
Semoga mereka dicucuri rahmatMu.
Labels: family |
3 tissues:
sayang.
moga CINTA kita kepadaNYA mengatasi segalanya :)
insyaAllah.
thank y0u f0r the reminder dear..
:)
in ur case.it's SUPERsentap!
i pun tersentap.hurm.keserabutan jiwa itu bisa diubati dgn bercakap denganNya.Dia close dgn kita, cuma kita tak sedar.Let Allah remain as our bestie!
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