It's raining heavily now. I'm wondering how you are, in that room, alone. I miss you so much. Eating alone makes me sad. Seeing your empty chair, it's almost surreal, knowing you're not at home. I'm worried. Every phone call from Mama makes me crazy. Waiting for a phone call is agonizing, beyond torturous. Giving Kak No food, medicine, asking whether she wants anything reminds me of the day when you were sick. I wish I could do it all over again because you're close to me, in my sight. But you're not now and I can't do anything. I can't read, I can't study, I can't watch the telly with ease knowing you're in the hands of someone else.
Yes, you’re in a good hospital. Yes, you have nurses and doctors watching over you. But they are no Meredith, or Izzie or George. They’re used to this already. They’re used to see me cry over your bed, holding your hand, whispering “Nenek, ni adik ni. Nek boleh dengar tak?” They probably see this every day.
I pray to God to give you strength and to save you from this. I know you're strong, you always have been. You've been a fighter all your life. Come arthritis, eye problems, joint problems, you don't care. You shrug it off. "Eleh, Nenek sakit-sakit ni pun, Nenek still boleh masak, berkebun. bagitau Nenek, apa yang Nenek tak boleh buat?" you said it, with a smirk. "Hehe, yee Nenek kuat lagi," I said.
I'm not ready to let you go. I need you. I want you to be there when I graduate, to see me succeed. It doesn't matter if I go against all odds, if you're not here, it seems worthless. I'm waiting for you to come home. I don't know what to do Nek. I'm trying my best, to be optimistic for the sake of Kak No, Jwa and Sheen. Jwa nak SPM nanti. Adik ada lagi 2 paper. I don't know if we are able to do it without you here with us.
But I know, I just know it that Allah will save you. Ni ujian utk Nenek, untuk kita semua. You will be ok. We all will. When you come home nanti, I'll be the happiest person in the whole world, I guarantee you that. I'm waiting for that day to come. You will be drowned in my kisses and hugs.
I love you Nek.
8 tissues:
sure she will be good again, let's pray for her health, n you, have to be strong too. and I know you are doing your best!
let's have ice cream aftr everything falls back to its position, k?!
study your nihongo!! (betul ke?)
:D
thank u moja. yes im trying my very best to be strong. ssh tp kte kene sng2 kan kan? :)
oh sure, lets:) im waiting for everything to be ok again. ok ok i will! hehe btul2. thank u again :)
I speechless nashy..
don't know what to say..
just be strong..
it's a cliche..ya I know
but that is the most apt sentence I can hand to u..
:)
sayang..
allahumaa'..
insyaAllah..
rahsia tuhan, takde sape yg akan pnah tahu.
bertabah ya sayang.
teddy always ade ngn nash :)
be strong, lots of prayer..
insyaAllah she'll be fine..
if you need a shoulder,
know that I am here..
(actually i tried to send a comment 3times already but couldnt. but i'll try again.)
this is sad. :(
Allah bagi sakit sebab Allah sayang.
Allah sangat sayang sayangs anda.
la tahzan.
:)
everything is a phase.
she'll get thru it
:)
praying from far.
darlings, thank you for your concerns and prayers. my grandma is slowly showing signs of improvement. she can open her eyes but only just a few times and she can hear us talk to her. ni semua berkat doa kita. thank you sgt. im so happy :)
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