Summer: I said I love The Smiths. You–you have a good taste in music.
Tom: You like The Smiths?
Summer: Yeah. “To die by your side is such a heavenly way to die.” I love ‘em.
[Summer steps off the elevator]
Tom: Holy shit.
500 Days of Summer is currently being shown here but the tickets are limited waaaaa. I must must get meself a ticket! Or maybe two, if you know what I mean heh heh.
This is my face Covered in freckles With the occasional spot And some veins
This is my body Covered in skin And not all of it You can see
And, this, is my mind It goes over and over The same old lines
And, this, is my brain It's torturous analytical thoughts Make me go insane
And I use mouthwash Sometimes I floss I got a family And I drink cups of tea
I've got nostalgic pavements I've got familiar faces I've got a mixed-up memory And I've got favourite places
And I'm singing "oh oh" on a Friday night And I'm singing "oh oh" on a Friday night And I'm singing "oh oh" on a Friday night And I hope everything's gonna be alright And I'm singing "oh oh" on a Friday night And I hope everything's gonna be alright
This is my face I've got a thousand opinions And not the time to explain
And this is my body And no matter how you try and disable it Yes I'll still be here
And, this, is my mind And although you try to infringe You cannot confine
And, this, is my brain And even if you try and hold me back There's nothing that you can gain
'Cause I use mouthwash Sometimes I floss I've got a family And I drink cups of tea
I've got nostalgic pavements I've got familiar faces I've got a mixed-up memory And I've got favourite places
I'm singing "oh oh" on a Friday night And I'm singing "oh oh" on a Friday night And I'm singing "oh oh" on a Friday night And I hope everything's gonna be alright And I'm singing "oh oh" on a Friday night And I hope everything's gonna be alright Oh oh oh oh oh oh
Listening to this song triggers that familiar sinking feeling. Thought I was healed, but I really haven't gone through the whole process of wallowing. Is there such a process? I am happy now. Perhaps it's inevitable. I wonder how Rayner can listen to it every morning without fail.
"There's no combination of words I could put on the back of a postcard No song that I could sing But I can try for your heart Our dreams, and they are made out of real things Like a, shoebox of photographs With sepia tone loving
Love is the answer, At least for most of the questions in my heart Like why are we here? And where do we go? And how come it's so hard? It's not always easy and Sometimes life can be deceiving I'll tell you one thing it's always better when we're together"
Only one day left of fasting and one last night of tarawikh. Why does it feel so soon? :'( I'm not even looking forward for Raya as much. This year's different. Arwah's not around anymore for me to ask forgiveness from or to pray at the mosque on Raya morning together or to taste her cooking. Sigh, being strong is never easy eh? It's kinda depressing. But nonetheless, it's not the time to mope around. so, here is my wish.
Selamat Hari Raya lovable friends :) Please forgive me for all of my wrongdoings Some are done unintentionally as well as intentionally and I've learned my lesson So please do forgive me I love each one of you and I hope you guys will have a joyful Raya. truly sincere from me heart :)
I hate them. The hugs, the well wishes, the tears and awkward laughs in between, the goodbyes, and lastly, the waving hands, not stopping until you see the last bit of them going through the passport check. Then this feeling would come and hit you right in the gut. For some, it comes fast like a shooting star in the sky. Others, it will creep in slowly. Like ink dissolving in clear water. Though the ways differ, it affects just the same. Like a deep hole in the ground, that is how you will feel. Empty and hollow. Like one piece of a 500-piece puzzle gone missing. Located somewhere that takes time for you to find. It is incomplete. You have become incomplete. The only thing that will keep you together is a promise, some invisible ties in between, in which you will remember each other, and they will be in your thoughts and your heart always. It isn't easy to keep such promise when you yourself is busy handling a hectic life, while she is on the other side of the world, doing just the same.
I'm finding myself already missing you but I know you will be okay. You've always been strong, you've always helped me to stay strong from high school years till now. You know I'll always be there for you. We have Facebook and MSN and YM and the phone. Call me up whenever you need me, and I'm there. Though the bill won't be so friendly.
And perhaps I could save up some money (ok not some but a whole lot of it) and go to Manchester, to you. Maybe we can check out Old Trafford together :)
that there are so many assignments and work to be done week after week and we get so tired at night or even during the day, and days pass by so fast, that it is already the 20th day of Ramadhan (9 nights of tarawikh and qiamullail remaining) and you feel like you haven't spend it the best way you should have.
I'm Feelin rough I'm Feelin raw I'm in the prime of my life. Let's make some music make some money find some models for wives. I'll move to Paris, shoot some heroin and fuck with the stars. You man the island and the cocaine and the elegant cars.
This is our decision to live fast and die young. We've got the vision, now let's have some fun. Yeah it's overwhelming, but what else can we do? Get jobs in offices and wake up for the morning commute?
Forget about our mothers and our friends. We were fated to pretend.
I'll miss the playgrounds and the animals and digging up worms. I'll miss the comfort of my mother and the weight of the world. I'll miss my sister, miss my father, miss my dog and my home. Yeah I'll miss the boredom and the freedom and the time spent alone.
But there is really nothing, nothing we can do. Love must be forgotten. Life can always start up anew. The models will have children, we'll get a divorce, we'll find some more models, Everything must run its course.
We'll choke on our vomit and that will be the end. We were fated to pretend.
I miss blogging. I miss writing whatever comes to my head, without caring or thinking what other people might say. Lately, I just put pictures or quotes that I like, just little pieces of my thoughts, not giving them all. I want to write long posts like I used to and almost every day without fail. Tak sah la kalau tak blog in a day! But now my head's full of other things; things that I want to share with the whole wide world, things that can make me burst literally out of happiness, but I chose not to.
Wearing my heart on my sleeve is what I usually do. It's really a part of me. I don't know how to be discreet, the right ways of being subtle, I've never read that handbook before. Ways On How To Write Discreetly. Yup, never have. So I go on doing what I do best; putting them all out there.
But in a way, what I'm doing, for me, is wrong. Maybe others do not think so, but me? I think it is. For example, when someone says bad things about you behind your back, for sure it will send you in a verbal frenzy, you know, doing the same thing. You would talk about them too, not just how upset you are, but also the bad sides of them. I did that. But never have I thought that Ya Allah, aku ni mengumpat jugak lah. In a way, I'm like them too. 2x5, 5x2.
So I gathered all my patience and to tell you the truth, it truly wasn't easy, but I managed to stop. And then I think reverse psychology thoughts. Hmm, maybe what they actually said was... Or maybe they meant something else, I je tak faham... Oh we don't know each other very well, so biasa lah kalau nak cakap-cakap ni... Hmm maybe diorg tak dengki, diorg jealous je kot. ala jealous yang main-main tapi bunyi cam serious...
Oh you don't know how many theories and excuses I came up for this. It does make me feel better in a way but at the end of the day, when I come to think about it, I'd be sad all over again. But I also kept this saying in my head. Ignorance is bliss. Yes, it can come off as a cliche, but if you really practice it, it can be really comforting. At least for me it does.
I think in general, if you have bad things happening to you, you just gotta count your blessings. Every precious thing that you have, be thankful. Because each one of them loves you, cares for you and are there for you. The haters are like tiny weeny midgets compared to the love giants you have. Think about this, and you'll be alright. :)
p.s: oh and yeah, I've forgiven you for what you did and said. I really don't care anymore. I am happy and that is all.
I like to stalk see and read and be inspired by other people' blogs. People don't think alike so it's really fascinating to know their opinions and views on things. And they are not the same too. They have different kinds of jobs, fashion sense, sexual orientation (perlu ke? yes perlu), family, and the list goes on. So after checking out a friend's blog, I ran through her list of blogger friends whom I don't know and clicked on one that seemed interesting. I read and read and read and she posted something that immediately menyentap my mind, body and soul. Okay not that dramatic but something similar to that.
A sentence that says,
If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it.
Ok not-to-be-named blogger, You have hit the Jackpot!
p.s: this is really an inside joke for myself only. tapi rasa cam nak blog it. ok hehe.
